What is forgiveness?
Dr Charles Stanley, in his book “Forgiveness”, offers this definition: Forgiveness is “the act of setting someone free from an obligation to you that is a result of a wrong done against you.”
For example: a debt is forgiven when you free your debtor of his obligation to pay back what he owes you. He identifies three elements involved in forgiveness.
1. An Injury
2. A debt resulting from an injury
3. A cancellation of the debt
People hurt one another, sometimes intentionally, but often unintentionally.
When faced with the hurts of life we have the choice to forgive. The power to forgive comes from God and God empowers us to forgive.
Genesis 50:15-26 Is the story of great forgiveness from Joseph to his brothers. Because of jealousy they sold their younger brother into slavery and made their father believe he was dead. His brother’s were afraid he would hold a grudge against them and asked forgiveness. Josephs words were “Do not be afraid for I am in God’s place. As you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
Forgiveness Brings Healing:
- How do you know when you truly have forgiven someone?
- Can you still be angry and forgive someone?
- How does the decision to forgive result in a changed life?
- Do you need to forgive others?
- Do you need to forgive yourself?
Colossians 3:13
“..bearing one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”
Misconceptions concerning forgiveness:
- It is NOT Condoning the Behavior
- It is NOT Forgetting What Happened
- It is NOT Restoring Trust in the Person
- It is NOT Doing the Person a Favor
- It is NOT always easy
Forgiveness is not saying it is okay. It is saying that the consequences belong to God, not to me. We learn from our experiences and should not keep subjecting ourselves to abuse or the same disappointments repeatedly. Trust is earned. It is something we give to those who deserve it. It is irresponsible to blindly trust someone who repeatedly hurts you.
Peter asked the Lord “How often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No!” Jesus replied, “seventy times seven!” Matthew 18:21-22
Key Points On Forgiveness:
- Forgiveness is a CHOICE to give up our RIGHTS for vengeance, retribution and negative thoughts toward our offenders.
- Forgiveness in not FORGETTING.
- Forgiveness is not RECONCILIATION. Forgiveness takes ONE, reconciliation takes TWO.
- Forgiveness is not allowing the INJUSTICE to continue.
- Forgiveness does not remove the PAIN, but staying in un-forgiveness will never allow you to HEAL.
- Forgiveness does not remove CONSEQUENCES